The kittens are safe, but we're fucked.

Once again, I would like to extend my deepest thanks and praise to any and all of the incredibly ignorant and dimwitted fuckwads that voted for GWB.

YOU made this possible:

US Code 18, Section 2257
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Basically, as of midnight, this federal law requires website owners to keep records documenting, among other things, that "every performer portrayed in a visual depiction of actual sexually explicit conduct" is over the age of 18. That's not just porn, folks. We're talking webcams, adult-themed cartoons, certain parts of Rotten.com and so much more. Not just that, but under the proposed changes, some forms of ID now commonly used for age verification will no longer be accepted - among them, Selective Service cards and college IDs.

Records for every model or actor would have to be indexed alphabetically by legal name ("or numerically where appropriate"), and include all stage names used since 1992.

The updated regulation would also mandate that records be cross-referenced by title, number or alternate identifier for every publication in which they're involved - including print, broadcast, online photos, streaming video and other media. Not only that, but under 75.1 (c)(2), the term "distributor" is redefined to include posting on an internet web site. Specifically the term "secondary producer" is defined to include anyone who posts a digital image on an internet site.

That bears repeating.

THE TERM SECONDARY PRODUCER IS DEFINED TO INCLUDE ANYONE WHO POSTS A DIGITAL IMAGE ON AN INTERNET SITE!!


Example:



This is now considered to be pornography. In order to show this on a website, I must provide the following:

The full legal name of the model
John Stickfigure
Jane Stickfigure

All other names, (maden/married/stage name, aliases)
John S
John The Stick
Jane
JaneS
Jane Sticky
Jane Markwitchz

Copy of the depiction, printed on the paper record.

Copy of every associated URL the image is displayed on, and the URL of the image every place it appears.

I must also maintain indexes which find the record alphabetically, numerically, by the performer's last name (followed by first), aliases, stage names, title, and identifying marks. Yes, I have to record each and every tattoo that said actor has on his/her body.

If someone else should reuse this image on their site, but linking it from my server, I must also append my records then. If http://my-anal-retentative-government-agency.gov put my picture on their site, linked from my server, I must update my records accordingly.

If the indexing and record keeping weren't enough, there are rules for record maintenance and retention and inspection.

The record must be maintained at my place of business. I cannot have a 3rd party company maintain my records for me. I must keep these records segregated from any other records. I must keep the records intact for 7 years from creation or amendment, and finally even if my organization should fail, I'm required to keep these records on file for 5 years, which makes the following interesting.

My location must be available for inspection from 8am to 6pm, 365 days a year. I understand this has been amended to only be 20 hours per week.

While "inspecting records", the agents may seize any evidence of any felony while conducting an inspection. Basically, they're opening up a door for warrentless entry into any adult business (adult video store, book store, or Internet business)

Ahhh, and the disclosure statement. Several paragraphs in 11 point type, on the front page of the site, saying the title of the work, date of production, publication, duplication, reproduction, or reissuance, the street address where the records are kept, and the name, title, and business address of the custodian of records.



One more right taken away from you, thanks in part to BushCo. Honestly, what's next? Oh, I know. It's a constitutional amendment that bans burning the flag! Why am I opposed to this?

Because no one even displays proper flag etiquette. No one shines a light on it at night. People drive around in Ford Excursions with tattered, faded and soiled flags on the wrong side of their car (yes, there is a correct side to display it on). People write jingoistic catchphrases across the flag, and then slap the image on coffee cups, lighters, bumperstickers and even thongs and undershirts. I'm sure I could find an American flag condom if I looked hard enough. People leave them up after they've been faded to a light pink. And I'm willing to bet that most people don't dispose of the flag in the proper way (ironically, the correct way to dispose of a flag is to burn it.)

I've seen McDonald's flags flown above the US flag. I've seen Denver Broncos flags flown at the same height as the US Flag. I've seen them displayed at full mast all day on Memorial Day. I've seen them dragging on the ground, displayed during rain and hailstorms, and flown backwards. I've seen them on fucking PIZZA BOXES! You're not supposed to put them on items that are designed for discard. That in itself is disrespectful.

Even more than that, I am opposed to this because it takes away another one of my freedoms. The freedom to protest. If I burn a flag, it's a sign that I am unhappy with what the flag represents. Listen, the flag is a piece of cloth. Most likely, it was made in China or Korea. It represents different things to different people. To a Vietnam vet, it might symbolize how this nation shunned them when they returned from the war. To some, it represents everything that is right with this country. To others, it represents everything that is wrong with this country. To me, it's a symbol of how bass-ackwards we have become. We put more stock into petty shit like this (anti-flag burning bills have fizzled in the senate for about 30 years now), than we do to important issues. And the way that certain people are going about promoting this egregious Constitutional Amendment, well, it really makes me feel physically ill. I'm speaking in particular about Randy Cunningham, California asshat. He contributed this priceless gem:

"Ask the men and women who stood on top of the (World) Trade Center," said Rep. Randy (Duke) Cunningham, R-Calif. "Ask them and they will tell you: pass this amendment."

FUCK YOU. Using 9/11 victims to promote your cause is one of the most vile and unforgivable things that a person in your position could do, and I am going out to purchase a flag, JUST TO BURN IT. But first, I am going to write on it the name of every senator who voted in favor of this horseshit.

Think about this: the Iranian government prevents Iranians from burning Iran's flags. The Chinese government prevents Chinese from burning China's flags. The Cuban government prevents Cubans from burning Cuba's flag. Next in line? USA!


By the way, if you haven't contacted your senator about this yet, please do so.


"No one ever died for a flag. A flag is a piece of cloth. They might have died for freedom, which is also of course the freedom to burn the fucking flag."
-Bill Hicks