Up in smoke

Time to clear the air about something. I smoke pot.

That sentence right there usually makes all the close-minded people either run off in horror, or go straight to Google to find a list of all the bad things marijuana does to you. So, for those of you still reading, let me continue...

I am an epileptic. I was diagnosed when I was 13 years old. The type of epilepsy I have is idiopathic, and if you want to know a little bit more about it, check out WebMD.

Anyway, since I was diagnosed, I have gone through many, many different types of treatments, from mixing and matching up to 4 medications at a time, to a specialized diet and lots of things in between (for the record, I have tried over 9 different meds in the past 12 years). I have considered brain surgery, but for the type of epilepsy I have, the risk of having the surgery is greater than the proposed benefit.

Because of the types of medication I take, I have side effects ranging from mild things such as constipation, blurred vision, dizziness, suppressed appetite and headache, to more moderate side effects like loss of coordination, jittery eyes (that one is fun, ever had triple or quadruple vision before?), night terrors and jaw clenching, to SEVERE side effects such as HALLUCINATIONS, blisters in my mouth, deadly skin rash ("Like a sunburn that will kill you" is how my neurologist described it), and severe stomach pains. Now keep in mind that these symptoms are just side effects from the drugs I am taking to combat the epilepsy. Perfectly legal, doctor-prescribed, government-approved drugs. FDA Approved. Kaiser gives them out like candy.

The seizures themselves aren't nearly as bad as some people have it, I just have petit-mal episodes that last from 15 seconds to a minute at a time, and I don't convulse, but I might clench my fists, I just kind of space out; my vision gets wavy, and my balance is thrown off. My pupils get huge, and I'm usually unable to speak until it is over. The dead-fish look is what my friends call it. The seizures vary in frequency, for about 2 years I was having 2 an hour, but with the new experimental meds I am on, I am down to maybe 5, mostly right before I fall asleep. Sometimes I can go a full day without having one, and if anyone reading this actually HAS epilepsy, then they can attest to how much a relief even 1 DAY without a seizure can be.

I have done my share of experimenting with drugs in my time; I'm not going to make a list of everything I have done, but I believe that if you don't try something and have no experience with it, then you have no right to bitch about the harm it causes or the damage it does. This goes not only for drugs, but life in general. If all of your experience is second-hand, you only have an outsiders P.O.V. to go by, and I think that someone that bitches about the evils of marijuana, yet has never smoked it, is a hypocrite. Take that how you will. But if I have never flown in a plane before, I wouldn't start spouting off on how horrible airline food is.

Now, let me say something that will cause outrage amongst many people. I HATE alcohol. I dislike the feeling I get from it, I don't like the side effects that come from drinking it, I don't particularly enjoy the drunk sensation and I don't like how people act while drinking it. That may just be because of my condition, or because of my meds, but whatever the reason, I have made the choice to stay away from alcohol. But I don't rag on people when they are drinking, it's their choice, and if that's what you want to spend your money on, then have at it. It's your choice, and it's none of my business.

The real reason I am posting this is because according to Colorado law (the state I currently reside in), I am eligible for medicinal marijuana. With a doctor's note, I can legally possess up to 2 ounces or 6 plants at a time. Of course, it's still a federal crime to have it; I can get it prescribed by my doctor, but I can't fill that prescription, and even with the card that says I am legally allowed to use marijuana, I can get arrested for having it. God Bless the hypocricy of the United States Government.

Whether it is legal or not, I still smoke it, because it HELPS. It calms me down, and not only will it eliminate some of the side effects of my medication, but it will prevent me from having seizures. It helps with my insomnia, another side effect of my meds (drowsiness and insomnia, how does that work?). Some of you may say that this is just a placebo effect, that it only works because I believe it works, but whatever the reason, it helps me. I sleep better, I have more of an appetite, and I DON'T HAVE SEIZURES!!! <-- key point!! I am not a drug abuser, but I DO spend a fair amount of time high. I have a good job that I have held for almost 4 years now, on top of that I have my own business that I operate on the side, I write a lot of essays and short stories, I play bass, guitar and program music on my computer, I read an average of 3 books a week, I aced the English, Grammar and Writing parts of my college entrance exam (now waiting for someone to point out a spelling or grammar error in my post.......), my IQ was rated as 139 and I take pride in learning something new as often as possible. Instead of smoking a joint and watching TV for 8 hours like your average pothead, I smoke a joint and go hiking, or teach myself HTML, or read, or play music. Now this is not an attempt to prove how great a person I am, or that I'm some sort of pot-smoking genius; I'm simply stating that I use marijuana for legitimate medical reasons, and seeing as how I smoke about an ounce every week or two, and have been doing so for the past 8 years, I think I am doing pretty good for myself. It doesn't take me 30 seconds to respond to a question, and I can carry out complex tasks while high. So talk out your ass all you want about drugs doing nothing but harming people and society, and how only the scum of the earth smoke the dank, but unless you can honestly tell me that you smoke marijuana for (once again) LEGITIMATE MEDICAL REASONS, then I am inclined to think that you are just another uninformed idiot that thinks that they know what is best for everyone. To wrap this up, let me say that Pot helps me. Whether you want to believe that or not, it helps me. And for someone to so quickly discredit the proven advantages and medical uses of marijuana without knowing anything other than what they have read in a few articles or some government-funded case studies, well, that speaks volumes about who they are as a person. I hate to compare it to abortion, but if you aren't a woman, it ain't your call. Same with this. Unless you have glacoma, epilepsy, AIDS or lukemia, and have conducted an "independant study" on how marijuana either helps or hinders you, S.T.F.U. I have added a section to my sidebar titled "Legalize". Now, I am all for complete legalization of Marijuana as well as other drugs. I think that what you do with your body and your life is no one elses' business. I also believe that some of the most dangerous drugs out there are perfectly legal. Oxycontin, alcohol, Morphine, tobacco and caffeine top the list. Considering that you have less than a 25% chance of becoming addicted to marijuana, and a 99% chance of becoming addicted to cigarettes (crack cocaine is right below it, with a 96% chance of addiction), I'm not too worried. Out of the links I added, I would urge you to support either the Marijuana Policy Project
or Law Enforcement Against Prohibition. I added NORML to the list, even though they strike me as an orginization of potheads using medical marijuana as an excuse to legalize it for personal use. The other 2 links are facts about the American Drug War, and distortions that are commonly spread about drugs and the Drug War. They are both great sources of information.


You can either admire me, despise me or just not give a damn. But marijuana has been a part of my life for quite some time now, and I intend to keep it that way. Judge me if you will, but it won't make a bit of difference. My life is my life, and my health is my health. Don't make my decisions for me; feel free to disagree or challenge my points, but keep the holier-than-thou attitude to yourself. I've made my choice.

What's yours?